A few days after we brought Mack Swinney home, I took him down to the dock to join me in morning prayer. All of our previous dogs have been my loyal prayer partners. I wanted him to become part of this the venerable tradition. When I looked up from my prayer book, I noticed Mack had locked-on a half-dozen baby geese swimming by the dock.
He had not experienced wildlife before. His previous two owners kept him mostly indoors – socially distanced – with only the occasional walk around the house. From the picture, there is no doubt something stirred in Mack’s heart. Deep down, he knew these young geese were meant to be part of his life, not so much as prey but more to fulfill an inner longing which includes the thrill of a chase and the promise of some frolicking fun in the water. His restless heart knew these geese were meant to be part of the world from which he had been isolated.
I also feel a restlessness and longing; a loss of purpose. The isolation from the pandemic has stretched on for months. I’ve been removed from my previous environment – which included the ‘thrill of the chase’ and the ‘promise of fun’. But now, even a trip to the grocery store has been stripped of any smidgeon of enjoyment and transformed into a utilitarian foray into a hostile and alien landscape. Deep down, I long to frolic and play and enliven my place in the world.
My faith tells me, though, God is not practicing social distancing during the pandemic. God is doubly present inside our isolated bunkers and journeying with us down this strange and unfamiliar path. God well knows what we’re going through.
Not only that, but God is actually planting some of these seeds of restlessness, trying to awaken me to a new understanding of my true purpose throughout this pandemic and beyond. Saint Augustine famously said: “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.” In my isolation, I have that restless heart. The restlessness is telling me that even now, God still has work for me to do. It is just different than the work I was doing before.
For a while, I felt like the pandemic was like hitting the ‘pause’ button in my life. I realize now it is more like hitting the ‘reset’ button, a time to reexamine my priorities and pursue my innermost longings. If you have a restless heart, maybe God is using that restlessness to awaken you to search for your true purpose and bring life and new energy to this post-Covid world.
I feel the same restlessness and have often thought what do I do now to make a difference going forward through these unchartered waters.