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The one thing I need to give up for Lent: Control

Homily for the 1st Sunday of Lent

Mack Surrendering Control

The Spirit drove Jesus out into the desert, and he remained in the desert for forty days, tempted by Satan.” Mk 1:12

There is one thing I need to give up for Lent.  It might be the most important thing.    What is it?  Control. 

I like to control.  I like my life to be in control.  I like to control others.  I like to control certain conversations.  I even would like to control the political process, companies that put me on hold for ten minutes while telling me my call is important to them. Sometimes I even want to control the Church.  And I get frustrated when I can’t!

During Lent, I even try to control God.  I carefully choose what I’m going to give up.  I think to myself how much better I’m going to make myself.  Isn’t God going to be pleased?  I relish the grace and holiness that this will bring upon me. 

God, however, doesn’t want my M&M’s.  God wants me.  To give myself to God this Lent, I need to give up this desire to ‘control’ those things that are better left to God to control.

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The temptation of Jesus in the desert (Mk 1:12-15) illustrates a few reasons why I need to let go of my agenda and surrender to God’s plan, not my own. 

The Spirit demands that I let go.  In the very first verse of the gospel, it says the Spirit drove Jesus out to the desert to be tested by Satan.  The Greek verb ‘drove’ is also the verb used when expelling demons, “Jesus drove out the demon” or “Cast out the demon”. 

The spirit drove Jesus into the wilderness, a place where he was going to be tempted, and one might say not in control.  In my life, the Spirit tries to ‘drive me’ to a particular situation – to go inside a prison, go to the hospital, make a difficult phone call, have a hard conversation – and I sometimes resist.  I resist because this is a situation I am not going to be able to control, and I don’t like that.  Last Thursday, I found out the wife of a long-time acquaintance died unexpectedly in the middle of the night.  I felt the Spirit driving me to call him knowing that I didn’t have the right words to say, knowing that it would be a conversation I wouldn’t be able to control.

Letting go is part of my baptismal call.  The passage in the gospel of Mark right before this verse describes the baptism of Jesus.  Together, the two would read, “You are my beloved son, with you I am well pleased… And the Spirit immediately drove him out into the wilderness.” 

After a baptism today, there is cake, ice cream, and balloons.  After the baptism of Jesus, the Spirit immediately drove him to be among wild beasts.  “Beloved” didn’t mean Jesus was going to rest in the peace and security of the Father, but meant that Jesus was immediately cast into the wilderness to be tested by Satan.  To be baptized means that the Spirit will cast us into places where we are not going to be in control and where we desperately need the grace that comes through our baptism.

Satan wants me to be in control, not God.  After the Spirit drove Jesus into the wilderness, Jesus was tempted, or in other translations, tested by Satan.  Satan will use whatever tools he can to keep me from letting go and putting God in control.  In the other gospels, Satan tempted Jesus with bread, power, and faith.

In my life, when the Spirit drives me into the wilderness, or in other words compels me to do enter a situation I can’t control, I often face a particular tempter.  I call him the god, little ‘g’, of “not enough”.  You don’t have enough time, qualifications, money, creativity, support…  On and on.  For example, before I made the call to the grieving husband, the tempter was whispering, “You have nothing to say that will help.” The Spirit, however, compelled me to go into this wilderness of grief and pain. 

The Wilderness Clarifies our Purpose.  After Jesus was driven into the wilderness, he faced the temptations of Satan and mingled with both wild beasts and angels. Through this experience, he clarified his mission:  “This is the time of fulfillment. The Kingdom of God is at hand.  Repent, and believe in the gospel.” (Mk 1:15)

We often go into the wilderness after a major life change that causes us to lose control:  a job loss, a medical diagnosis, a broken relationship.  Life just crumbles around us.  It is often in those moments where we’re not in control and have to lean into God that we come away with a new sense of mission and purpose. 

How do we give up control?  First, recognize you can’t do much with the wild beasts out there. In the gospel, Jesus was among wild beasts.  It didn’t say he tamed them.  While he was among the wild beasts, angels ministered to him.  This is a nice little metaphor of the Spiritual life.  In my interior life, I contend with both wild beasts and angels.  There are situations ‘out there’ I can’t control,  but can control the wild beasts, ‘in here’, in my heart.  My ego, pride, impatience, intolerance… all of these little beasts that feed my desire to control.  When I stop feeding these little beasts, angels are there to angels minister to me.

Another way I started practicing giving up control is not taking things so seriously.  At the conference center yesterday with a 150 person retreat, I heard about the refrigerator leaking, the bad smell in one room, the shower not working in another room, and the buffet running out of chicken.  I patiently nodded and sometimes smiled. Acceptance, patience, and a good sense of humor will go a long way toward letting go.

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The last image I’d like to leave you with is Noah and the flood.  The world is in upheaval.  The family of Noah enters the ark, the waters sweep them away, and they realize they no longer have any control over their lives.  There is nothing Noah’s family can do at this point other than hope in God.  If I were on the boat, it wouldn’t be long before I would want to build a sail, add a rudder, or drop some oars into the water. I would want to control my speed and direction when in fact it doesn’t matter. I’m in the middle of an endless sea!  Many times in my life, I try to control things that are best left up to God and wind up paddling away with no direction or purpose. Noah trusted that God was in control.  He surrendered to God’s direction.  He patiently waited for the flood waters to recede – in God’s time.  As a result of this trust, God renewed the covenant.  Anytime we surrender our desire to control to God, God renews His covenant with us. So this Lent, consider giving up one thing: control.