Paddling up Balls Creek, I saw a Tiger Swallowtail butterfly crossing the airspace above the water. I followed it to where it landed. Much to my surprise, the butterfly had joined several other butterflies. They formed a little huddle.
I snapped a picture. I think my favorite character in this picture is the one in the middle. She (I think the coloring indicates they’re females) seems to be looking right into my zoom lens with a hint of defiance, letting me know I’m intruding on their little conclave.
I think of butterflies as solitary creatures that occasionally grace my garden or add delight to the sky as the weave their way overhead. I was naturally intrigued to see a gathering on the sandy bank.
If I were to give human attributes to these butterflies, they look like they are at a networking event, gathered in the typical semi-circle. For those who are practiced at reading the room, the mouth of the semicircle is open, a signal inviting others to join the discussion. The arrangement also has the double advantage of allowing those in the group to be both attentive to one another but at the same time scan the room for the next one to contact.
In the pre-Covid days, I would abhor going to various networking and professional mixers. There were many times I arrived at the name tag table, looked around the room, and was ready to turn around and leave. Extroverts! Inevitably I would stick it out. And to my great benefit, I would leave energized and enlightened. There was never an event I didn’t learn a little more about myself and little more about others in those up close and personal interactions.
With all of the Covid protocols, we have lost these communal and ‘networking’ activities, which directly or indirectly guide our personal growth – even those that are unpleasant and a little challenging at times.
Staying connected today has become complicated. Even something as simple as meeting a colleague or business associate for lunch is now filled with additional questions. Take-out of dine in? Indoors or outdoors? Same table or different table? What do you do with the mask!?!
In those times I am with other people, I consciously stand apart, obsessed with my six-foot cone of safety throughout the conversation. It feels weird.
In the initial greeting, there is definitely no handshake or hug. We awkwardly try a fist-bump or an elbow-tap, neither of which come naturally to anyone I know and certainly don’t convey the same intimacy, maybe even look a little silly.
I worry that this pandemic is forming unnatural habits. Rather than go out into the sometimes uncomfortable and disagreeable world, we stay at home. It might be a smart decision, but at home we can spout any opinion we want. We can gather information from the news sources that agree 100% with our political or religious opinions. There is no one to raise an eyebrow and give us the look that says we have just said or done something outrageous, or see the pain in our expression when someone nearby has crossed the line. In essence, there is no opportunity to grow – individually or collectively.
Right after the creation of Adam, God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” (Gn 2:18) Powerful words that say we a meant to be with others. Brené Brown, the popular speaker and author, said it this way: “We are hardwired to connect with others, it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering.”
No doubt. The virtual world has allowed us to do great things in isolation. We continue to meet, discuss, teach, and connect. But students miss the growth that comes from being with their classmates and teachers. Coworkers miss the personal sharing during their Friday lunch ritual. Church members miss the polite, sometimes heartfelt socializing after the service. In person, you can see more than the shoulders and heads so prominent in Zoom. You can feel the pain and joy, triumph and struggle that lies beneath.
We’ve distilled all human interaction into a virtual exchange of information, a poor substitute for rich exchange that comes from being in the physical, emotional and spiritual presence of another human being.
Even the butterflies know that every once in a while, they just need to get together. With all these limiting pandemic protocols, what can you do to stay connected?