Homily for the 23rd Sunday of Ordinary Time
“Owe nothing to anyone, except love one another.” (Rom 13:8)
What do you do if someone sins against you?
Unique World Gifts
Since ‘sin’ is such a loaded word, it might help to look at the Greek to better understand the question. The word ‘sin’ comes from the Greek word hamartano, which could mean to err, to miss the mark, to be mistaken, to commit an offense, to wander from the path.
With this in mind, here are some other ways of asking this question: What do you do if someone misunderstands you? What do you do if someone commits an offense against you? What do you do if someone neglects you, diminishes you, makes you feel small, causes you grief, intentionally or unintentionally?
Jesus begins his instruction to the disciples by saying, “If your brother sins against you…” He then offers a step by step approach on how we should respond. (Mt 18:15)
The first step is sometimes the hardest: You speak to that person in private and talk about it. In the words of Jesus, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.”
For example, if your boss misses the mark, you speak to your boss not your coworkers. If your teacher is mistaken about you, you speak to your teacher not your classmates. If a friend forgets about you, you go to that friend alone, not to all of your other friends. If your spouse causes you grief, you speak to your spouse, not your colleagues.
You don’t ‘vent’. You don’t gossip. You don’t rant. And you definitely don’t post it on Facebook!
Bringing a grievance to someone face to face is not easy. It is sometimes easier and much more deliciously satisfying to recount the misdeeds with someone else.
The next question: exactly how shall we approach the person who has erred?
Saint Paul offers some advice. He says that you don’t owe that person anything – except one thing. What is that one thing? Love. He says, “Owe nothing to anyone, except love one another.” (Rom 13:8)
With that in mind, how do you tell someone that they were mistaken, that they erred, that they in some way hurt you? You do it with great love. According to Saint Paul, it can even be considered a debt you have to pay to that person, but also to your self and to God.
There is another dimension to this reading that we seldom consider. We like the idea of correcting a sinful brother. But what if we’re the ‘brother’? What if we’re the offender? What if we’ve erred, made a mistake, wandered from a path. How do we want people to correct our behavior? How do we respond to such corrections? This is probably why Saint Paul adds, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Even if that means you’re the neighbor getting the correction!
You owe nothing to no one, except love. Love is the currency through which we pay our debts.
Moments before in the gospel Jesus said, “Take up your cross and follow me.” Appropriately handling a pain someone has caused you is sometimes a cross that you will have to bear. It is a wound in your heart that needs to be healed. It is a wound in the body of Christ that needs to be rehabilitated.
This points to a deeper reality communicated in Jesus’ instruction. The greatest debt we have to pay is our debt to God. Sin in its proper definition is an offense against God. Since the fall of Adam, humanity has repeatedly sinned against God. Our heavenly Father has been deeply wounded and pained by our pride, arrogance, ingratitude and selfishness.
In a sense, God’s response was similar to the first step Jesus outlined in the gospel. “Go and tell that person…” God did just this by sending his Son who “though he was in the form of God did not deem equality with God but emptied himself and took the form of a slave.” God didn’t owe us anything. But because God is love, God responded with love. God acted out the words of Saint Paul on the grandest stage. Owe nothing to anyone, except to love.
God took the first step toward reconciliation. In unimaginable love, God sent his Son to reconcile, to heal, to help us understand that we have sometimes wandered far from the path. God continues this outreach of love every time we wander from the path.
God has set for us an example. Love one another. When a brother or sister sins against you respond as God with great love. Owe nothing to anyone – except love.
May the Lord show you how you may love others with the great love that He has loved you.