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How to make outsiders insiders

Homily for the 20th Sunday of Ordinary Time
Impromptu outdoor Mass after a leak flooded the sanctuary

We have a church that is becoming a church of outsiders and insiders. The question:  How do we make the outsiders insiders?

The outsiders could be those who have abandoned the church for various reasons.  There are growing numbers of atheists and people who have no religious affiliation, called the NONES.  Many in their 20s and 30s see no place for religion in their life. There are the people that used to come to Mass five years ago but for various reasons no longer come. 

The outsiders could also be you and me.  I am referring to the people that come to Mass, regularly or occasionally, but don’t feel engaged.  The title of a recent Word on Fire podcast says a lot:  Why Parishes Fail to Engage 93% of Parishioners.  93%!!! These are people who don’t feel like they quite fit, or feel like there is a place for them.  They try coming to Mass but leave wondering what’s the point.  They too feel like outsiders.  

So the question again:  How do we make the outsiders insiders? These include our sons and daughters, our neighbor and friends, our coworkers and clients.  They could be the people that used to sit next to you in the pew, maybe the people that are currently sitting next to you in the pew.

Before we answer the question, we might want to ask a more fundamental question.  Why?  Why is it important to make the outsiders insiders?  The short answer – it’s important to God.  And what is important to God needs to be important to us. 

Just take a peek at the scripture for this liturgy: 

Isaiah:  “For my house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples.” (56:7)

The psalmist:  “May the peoples praise you, O God; may all the peoples praise you!” (67)

Paul’s Letter to the Romans:  “For God delivered all to disobedience [Gentile and Jew] that he might have mercy upon all.” (Rom 11:32)

How do we engage outsiders?  The gospel scene of Jesus and the Canaanite woman (Mt 15:21-28) illustrates a few strategies.  The first time through this passage, it sounds like Jesus doesn’t want to have anything to do with outsiders.  He calls the Canaanite woman a dog!  He said, “I came only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.”

A closer read of the gospel, however, says the opposite.  Outsiders matter.  If they didn’t matter, then what was Jesus doing in the Gentile region of Tyre and Sidon!  While there, he engaged with the Canaanite woman. In doing so, he shows us some strategies on how to engage outsiders, and maybe in the process, make outsiders insiders. 

Here are seven strategies illustrated in the gospel:

MEET THEM WHERE THEY ARE.  Jesus went to the Gentile area of the outsiders. He didn’t wait for the Canaanite woman to come to Jerusalem. Sometimes we need to meet people where they are.  This might mean physically, going to a place where people don’t look like you, think like you, believe like you.  This might also mean to meet them where they are, intellectually and emotionally.  Go into their area of interest, learn about their passions, and find common ground. 

DON’T SEND THEM AWAY, EVEN IF…  Jesus didn’t send the Canaanite woman away, even after the insistance of the disciples, “Send her away!” He could have.  She’s an outsider – on many levels.  She’s annoying.  She’s demanding.  Instead, Jesus let her tag along and even let her say what she wanted to say without getting offended or shutting down the conversation.  We’ll never make outsiders insiders if we dismiss them or send them away.

SOFTEN THE LANGUAGE.  In the time of Jesus, Jews called Gentiles dogs.  It exemplified the animosity, even hatred, between the two races.  Instead of using the common Greek word for ‘dog’, Jesus uses a different word.  It could also be translated as little dog, house pet, or puppy.  Sometimes engaging a culture that has gone crazy, it is easy to use shocking, inflammatory, and uncompromising language.  We can’t soft-pedal the truth. But the delivery of the truth can be couched in love.  Jesus could have easily called her a dog.  Everyone else was.  Instead, he toned it down. 

HAVE A CONVERSATION.  Jesus had a conversation. The conversation was not one of clever proofs and arguments.  It was an exchange. He listened to what was important to her.  He talked about what was important to him.  In a similar manner, we need to have a conversation with an outsider.  Jesus wasn’t trying to convert her or convince her of something.  They talked.  If you see someone who isn’t coming to church, you can ask, “Why aren’t you coming to church?”, which has a sense of accusation.  Or you could say, “I miss you…  What’s going on in your life?”

LISTEN DEEPLY.  Jesus listened.  Jesus listened to not just her words, but he listened to her heart.  Many of the people I know who have stopped coming to church will say they have some issues with the church – sexuality, divorce, abuse, male priesthood, and a host of other hot-button issues… I believe many of these same people can get beyond the teaching.  What turns them away is the sense that the Church, which includes you and I, isn’t listening and the Church doesn’t care.  Who wants to be a part of that?!?  I met a woman.  She opened the conversation with a theological question:  Is my gay son in hell?  Rather than answer the question and impress her with my theological training, I continued to probe and listen.  The true question finally came out:  When my son committed suicide, why didn’t anyone from the Church call me?

AFFIRM.    Jesus finished the conversation by affirming her faith: “O woman, great is your faith!”  In talking to an outsider, affirm the positive, affirm the passion, affirm the truth in what they hold dear.  Say things like, “I can tell you’ve given this a lot of thought.  You have a great passion for…”

PRAY AND HAVE FAITH.  The Canaanite cried out to Jesus:  “Lord help me”, and her daughter was cured.  We can also pray:  “Lord help me. Show me how I can connect with the outsider.” Or if I’m feeling like one of the outsiders, “Show me how I can become more engaged.” 

Lord, help not only me but help your Church grow and help the members flourish. Lord, help us help you make your house a house of prayer for all people.


Post Note: God has a sense of humor. The title of my homily was “How to Make Outsiders Insiders.” The night before I was to preach, a water line came loose and flooded the sanctuary. In the early hours of the morning, a team set up for Mass outside, much to the surprise of the many that arrived at Mass that morning. So instead of sitting comfortably in their pew, the congregation sat in folding chairs in the wet grass and morning sun. My homily may have been titled “How to Make Outsiders Insiders”, but God also thought it important to illustrate “How to Make Insiders Outsiders”.