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How to silence the Pharisee in your head

Homily for the 31st Sunday of Ordinary Time

Image of Nicodemus from “The Chosen”

Jesus said, “The Pharisees tie up heavy burdens hard to carry
and lay them on people’s shoulders.” (see Mt 23:1-12)

Jesus has some harsh words to say to the crowds about the Pharisees.  “They preach but do not practice.  They love places of honor at banquets.  They tie up heavy burdens on people’s shoulders.”  Jesus is talking about the Pharisees out there.  I want to talk about the Pharisees ‘in here’, speaking to me in my own mind. I’ll call them the Pharisees in my head. 

These are the many voices telling me that I need to “perform works to be seen”.  I should  “love places of honor”.  People should give me the salutation ‘Deacon’ while bowing their heads!  And it’s OK if I say one thing and do something else. 

The Pharisees of Jesus’ time pretended to be working for the best interest of the people, but they weren’t.  They demanded that people follow 613 commandments.  This is why Jesus said, “They tie up heavy burdens hard to carry and lay them on people’s shoulders.”  The Pharisees in my head pretend to be working in my own best interest, but they’re not.  Listening to these Pharisees puts a heavy burden on my shoulders. 

I’ve given some of these Pharisees in my head names.  One I call Control.  He says I need to control everything in my life.  I need to control everything in everyone else life.  Pretending I can control everything and realizing I can’t can be a heavy burden.  I get frustrated and angry. 

I have a Pharisee called Perfection.  Perfection tells me that I need to be perfect in everything I do.  Trying to be perfect is a burden.  I spend way too much time on trivial things.  It wears me out.  When I fail, I get depressed. 

I have a Pharisee called Appreciation.  This voice demands that I get credit for the work I do.  When I don’t, the feelings of resentment become a burden. 

I have a Pharisee called “Feeling-In-On-Things.”  Feeling-In-On-Things tells me that people need to keep me informed of major and minor decisions.  When they don’t, Feeling-In-On-Things says I need to chase down the culprit and correct the oversight.  Constantly feeling like I need to let people know I’ve been left out of the loop is a burden.  It makes me feel like I don’t matter.

This is just a sampling.  I have Pharisees telling me I need to be approved, respected, valued, compensated, and appreciated.  I also have the seven deadly Pharisees that rule them all: Pride, Envy, Lust, Sloth, Gluttony, Anger, and Greed.  The Pharisees had six hundred and thirteen commandments.  I might have just as many Pharisees in my head, pretending to look out for my best interests but instead laying heavy burdens upon my shoulders and keeping me from experiencing freedom and peace. 

What am I to do with all of these Pharisees in my head?  Jesus essentially says, “Don’t listen to them!  Listen to the one voice that matters.”  These Pharisees try to teach me.  Jesus says, “You have one teacher.”.  Listen to that voice.”  These Pharisees try to be my master.  Jesus says, “You have one Master.”  Listen to that voice.  These Pharisees try to be my overbearing Father.  Jesus says, “You have one Father.”  Listen to that voice. 

Tuning out all of these contrary voices is a challenge.  I have to constantly ask, “Whose voice is this?”  It requires prayer and discernment. 

There is a beautiful image in the Responsorial Psalm that might help me and you tune out the demanding Pharisees and hear the one voice that matters: 

I have stilled and quieted my soul like a weaned child.  Like a weaned child on its mother’s lap, so is my soul within me.  In you, Lord, I have found my peace. (PS 131)

Our soul is like a young child sitting on his mother’s lap.  It is an image of peace, trust, and serenity.  That’s the voice that we need to listen to.  All of the other voices are going to lay heavy burdens upon us.  When we listen to that one, quiet voice, we can echo the psalmist:  In you, Lord, I have found my peace.

Try bringing that image to prayer, and ask: Who’s voice am I listening to?